(no subject)


My life? Kinda sucks right now, honestly. Well, I guess it doesn't suck, it just sure as hell doesn't rock.

Really, REALLY, need this vacation weekend. It's only one day off, but I'll take any kind of break from rl I can get. Yhaun and I are going to Houston when I get off Friday and coming back in time to pull another double on Sunday. Gonna see mc chris and celebrate a belated six years. I'm broke, but we both need this.

I've gained a lot of weight lately, which is making me miserable. Between the lack of sleep, not burning as many calories from running Mazzio's, and my inability to stop stuffing my face... Yeah. On the bright side: boobs.

I do love the new job. The atmosphere is so much better, and the stress is nil. I don't feel like tearing my hair out, which is a good thing. I actually look forward to work, something I haven't done in years. After so long at Mazzio's, I had forgotten what a positive work environment was like. I'm still incredulous. The difference is tangible. Everyone may not like their job, but no one is miserable.

I was planning on the 21st being my last day at Mazzio's... but after this week I don't think I can do it. Working around 70 hours, plus the time to commute from one place to another is leaving me very little time to sleep. I dunno, maybe I can suck it up... Hell, I know I can do it. But the idea of another two weeks is literally killing me. I'm one of those that goes in for instantaneous gratification. I don't do patience. I NEED to get out of there. It's like a physical craving; everything in me is screaming to be free of that place. I'm thinking the 16th is the most I can stand.

...And I might be getting something I wanted, but it's not how I wanted to get it (if that makes any sense). I feel guilty and apprehensive and excited all at once. I'm not really supposed to talk about it, since it isn't really about me, but I need to talk to someone. I need to sort it out, need to reason through it, need to get it straight in my head. I did tell Sarah tonight, about part of it, but... I dunno.

Sigh. I want and need to be home. There is so much I need to do, and no time to even think of doing it. I was trying so hard to keep up with the housework, and I had been doing brilliantly, but... my house is a disaster and there is no way I will even be able to touch it this week. The cats are lonely. My hot water heater and washing machine are busted. I don't know when I'll be able to do laundry. Just thinking about it makes me want to groan.

Ugh. Well, there are worse things. I'm not starving, I'm not homeless, and I'm almost away from Mazzio's. There are definitely worse things.

Writer's Block: Dream on

Do you usually remember your dreams at night? Do you analyze and/or record your dreams in your journal? Are there any recurring themes?

Yes, almost always. I don't record or analyze them, but I do have recurring themes. I have what you might call alternative dreams. They border on, and sometimes cross over to, the realm of nightmares.

Rejection, loss, and hiding with a dash of violence and sheer creepiness.

They fascinate me though. I hardly ever wake up frightened anymore, usually just curious about how they would have ended if given a chance to continue. Never any resolution.


And Darya and Alex. They've been in my dreams a lot lately. Those I do wake up anxious from. I never get any resolution from them either.

Writer's Block: The tenth time's the charm

What movie have you seen the most times in your life? How many times have you seen it? Will you ever grow tired of it?

Labyrinth, hands down.

I've literally watched that movie hundreds of times. It's been my favorite movie since seventh grade, when I would get up early and watch it every day before I went to school. I knew every word by heart.

Not gonna lie. I still kinda do. :D